


Innuendos in time and space

by 24h7 (kiwi_tan), funga_fu_fu, jeza_jezaro (funga_fu_fu)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Adventure, Aliens, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, M/M, Time Travel, el ministerio del tiempo/hetalia/doctor who, just borrowing Arthur and Antonio and throwing them in a mixed universe really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-02 04:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8651107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwi_tan/pseuds/24h7, https://archiveofourown.org/users/funga_fu_fu/pseuds/funga_fu_fu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/funga_fu_fu/pseuds/jeza_jezaro
Summary: Hetalia | Doctor Who | El Ministerio del Tiempo Crossover. Antonio is an agent of the Ministry of time tasked with preserving history. This includes ensuring the defeat of Spain, a mission made better only by the charms of an English captain.





	1. Captain, My Captain

—

Antonio walked into the office and his lips curved into a smile when he spotted the blond lady sitting in front of her computer. 

“Hola, Angustias.” He greeted the secretary with a smile. There went his peaceful afternoon on the couch. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

“Antonio, the pleasure is all mine.” Angustias smiled back at him as she raised her coffee like a toast. “Señor Martí is expecting you for your brief.” She looked at the door of their boss.

“Yes, yes.” He responded as he stepped closer to the adjoined office which belonged to the Undersecretary of the Ministry of Time. He nodded to her and went inside.

Señor Salvador Martí looked up from his paperwork and adjusted his glasses.

“Ah, Antonio. Welcome.”

“Hola, Salvador, Ernesto.” Antonio nodded in greeting, before he turned towards the only woman in the office and grinned. “Irene, beautiful as always.”

“Thank you.” She smiled back from her place against the windowsill.

“Sit down, please. Time is short.” Salvador cut them off before they could continue. He gestured to the only free chair in the office. The other one was occupied by Ernesto who was frowning at them, undoubtedly unhappy at their antics. Antonio wiped his grin and sat down.

“What do you know about Francis Drake?” The Undersecretary questioned. Antonio tilted his head as he thought about the name.

“An English pirate and second in command of the English fleet against the Armada. He is known as El Draque. The English consider him a hero.” He scrunched his nose in distaste.

“Good, so you know who he is.” Señor Martí nodded in satisfaction. “Our agent from the Netherlands, 1588, has contacted us with information that Francis Drake has been reported missing.” The Undersecretary intertwined his fingers in front of him and shot Antonio a pointed look. “You are to find him and return him on his ship before the 20th of July 1588.”

“What?” The brunette gaped at the man.

“Without him, the course of the battle might be different and we cannot allow history to change.” The man stated calmly. “You know our most important job here is to preserve history. The sole function of the Ministry of Time is to make sure that history remains the same.”

“You want me to help the English win? Against la patria? Por la patria?” Antonio exclaimed in shock as his eyes darted between Salvador, Ernesto and Irene. He only received blank looks. “I have to go ensure the British beat our own fucking Armada?” He growled. He especially disliked missions like this, where he was forced to go against España. For the sake of preserving the events, as they had been recorded in history, he had to be a traitor to his country.

“Yes, you will help the English find their missing captain and make sure he is on his ship the day they set sail against La Grande y Felicísima Armada.” Antonio opened his mouth to protest, but Martí cut him off, completely unbothered. “You will be presenting yourself as an English sailor by the name of Anthony Fox,” The brunette grimaced at the name. Why, oh why did they have to give him an English name? The man continued. “Who volunteered to join the battle. You will be taking the door to The Netherlands where our contact Walter van der Heide will be waiting for you. From Amsterdam you will take a ship to the port of Plymouth, where the rest of the English fleet is gathering.”

“You don’t happen to have a door in England?” Antonio shot out, hopeful that he will be able to save some travel time.

“We have no doors in lands we haven’t conquered.” Ernesto explained.

“I know how we can get a door in England.” Antonio remarked innocently.

The Undersecretary shot Antonio a sharp look. “You will sign yourself for Drake’s ship and find him. Understood?”

Antonio swallowed back a biting retort and nodded. He glared at the Undersecretary. “Why pick me?”

“You are the only one of our people who speaks fluent English. Without an accent.” Was that the only reason? They had to have more employees that spoke English! Antonio tried another approach. “What about Gilbert? He is still sick.” He knew his partner was suffering from a nasty cold. They wouldn’t send him off alone on such an important mission right?

Ernesto answered his question. “It’s a solo mission.”

The Undersecretary Salvador nodded. “It’s a recession. We are understaffed.” His blue eyes pierced Antonio from above the frame of his glasses. “You are one of our best agents. We have faith in your skills.”

“I’m gonna need more than skills to blend in with the British.” Antonio muttered.

“You’re a Spaniard, aren’t you? Improvise.” Salvador shot back at him. Antonio opened and closed his mouth as he tried to find what to say to that.

Ernesto stood up and Irene moved from her spot near the window. “Come, we will walk you to the door.” The blond woman gestured for Antonio to follow her.

The three of them descended the stairs towards the maze of doors. Antonio’s brows were curled into a scowl, still unhappy with his task. “I can’t believe you’re sending me off to help the English sink our own ships. Do you know what role Drake played in the Armada’s defeat? A key one.” He grumbled under his breath as his eyes were focused on his shoes. He tugged sulkily at the wide collar they had made him wear to blend in with the time he was going to. 

An unhappy grunt made him snap up and green eyes focused on a group of three – two men and a woman walking out of one of the doors. Their disheartened looks and silence betrayed the nature of their mission. Antonio smiled at them in understanding. He knew exactly how they felt and he hadn’t even started his own mission yet.

“Señor, be happy.” One of the men grumbled at him. “We just had to ensure the sale of the Colonies. The shame.” He continued. “To see our mighty Empire crumble to pieces. My soul is in pain.”

Antonio nodded. He perfectly understood where the man was coming from. Missions where he had to ensure the failure of his own country made his heart bleed.

Irene smiled at them and patted the man on the back. “Alonso. It happened centuries ago.” The other man from the group nodded, obviously agreeing with her.

“We just came back from there, Señora.” The first man bowed. “You can’t tell me to brush it off!”

“You should go and report. The boss is waiting for you.” Ernesto reminded the group and they hurried away. The man turned to Antonio and motioned to the retreating group. “Some new recruits.” Antonio nodded. They took a few more turns until Ernesto stopped before a door.

“Well, this is it.” Irene smiled at him. “Good luck.” She opened the door and Antonio entered. He turned to her.

“¡Gracias!” He smiled at her before he disappeared into the darkness.

—

“Your Majesty!” A messenger rushed in the courtroom silencing the gossip among the nobles. The man kneeled before Elizabeth and she motioned for him to continue. “Vice Admiral Drake is missing!” The man blurted out hurriedly.

Elizabeth’s heart stopped when she heard the news of her favourite captain missing. How could this happen? It was awfully convenient that this happens just when the Spanish Armada was almost on their shores. Her breath hitched when the thought of Sir Francis Drake’s broken body lying somewhere, murdered by a Spanish spy, entered her mind.

“Explain.” She stonily ordered the messenger to continue.

It had to be Philip’s fault. He was the one behind the multiple assassination attempts on herself, so she wasn’t surprised that the Spanish King would resort to attacking her most talented Captain and strategist. Not to mention that Philip held a big grudge against Sir Drake for his win and delay of the Spanish fleet one year ago. 

“Yes, Your Majesty.” He bowed down to her and continued his report. “The captain has been missing since yesterday morning. We have formed a search party and Admiral Howard has sent me here with a request for your help.”

Elizabeth stood up and the court quieted. Her delicate nails bit into the palms of her hands as she curled her fists in anger. She would not let Drake disappear and she will do everything in her power to find him.

“Come Sargent. I will be joining you with the help you have requested.” She looked at the courts as the nobles stared at her in surprise. “One of our highest ranking Captains is missing. I will make sure he is found.” She stated loud and clear. “The Kingdom of England shall not fall.” Everybody in the courtroom bowed to their queen. 

Elizabeth motioned for the messenger to follow her and her ladies in waiting outside the throne room. “I will make sure every ship is searched by the army and all new joiners will be held under suspicion.” She continued talking to the man as they stopped near a staircase.

“Lady Knollys.” The Queen ordered. “Take this man to the kitchens. He must be starving.” She nodded to him when a young lady in waiting stepped out from the crowd following the Queen. “After you are sated, please return to Admiral Howard and let him know that help is on its way.”

The messenger nodded gratefully.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” He bowed down before her once again. “The Admiral will be grateful for your help.”

“Of course, Sergeant.” Elizabeth replied as she headed towards her personal quarters to prepare for her journey. “How could I let one of our most loyal Captains remain unfound.”

—

“Next!” The old man yelled and Antonio almost groaned in relief when it was his turn. He fixed the bag on his shoulder and stepped in front of the wrinkly old man that was taking the names of the volunteers. “What is your name, lad?” The man asked Antonio.

The brunette almost grimaced before he caught himself. He smiled at the elder, putting on his happy front. “Anthony Fox, sir.” The name left a sour taste in his mouth but he supposed he could bear it, just for this mission. Green eyes trailed over the docked ships wondering which was the one that belonged to the fearsome El Draque. Antonio would be lying if he didn’t admit he was curious about the man who had earned such hatred from his people.

“Any preference on which ship you want to serve?” The old man’s voice broke Antonio out of his musings.

“Um.” He scratched the back of his head as he grinned at the administrator. “By any chance does the ship of Captain Drake have any free spots? I’ve admired him since I was a boy and it would do me a great honour to serve under his leadership.”

“Hmm…Let’s see.” The man shuffled through his scrolls until he found the one he needed. He picked up his magnifying glass and looked through the scroll. “Ah here we go. You’re very lucky young man! There are only two spots left on The Revenge.” The man scratched his nose and frowned at him. “What was your name again?”

Antonio inwardly groaned as he was forced to repeat the bastardization of his name with a happy smile. “Anthony Fox.” The administrator nodded, dipped the feather into the ink and quickly wrote down the cursed name.

“Good luck.” The man waved him off and Antonio hastily moved away to free the spot for the next person on the queue.

The brunette paused to admire the beautiful sunrise lighting up the masts and sales of the English fleet. Over a hundred ships had gathered at the Plymouth port. The wind blew at the white sails and made the red cross dance. The English ships were lighter, faster and just as deadly as the Spanish galleons. Antonio couldn’t help the awe that filled him at the sight of the navy. Even if it belonged to the Brits.

His eyes stopped on the wooden patterns and carvings on the hull of Drake’s ship. The Revenge was indeed magnificent. The brunette climbed the ramp and got his first look on the deck before he was stopped by a guard.

“Anthony Fox, assigned to this ship, Sir.” Antonio hurried out before the man had the chance to ask him. The guard measured him silently and nodded.

“Ye’ll be scrubin’ the deck.” He grunted at the brunette.

“Yes, sir!”

Antonio sighed at the bucket he had been given. The Spaniard had observed the sailors on his ship from Amsterdam to here. He had to pass off as a sailor so he had watched and listened carefully. Even though it all seemed wasted now. It didn’t take a great mind to clean the ship. It would be however very beneficial when he had to go look for Drake. It gave him more opportunities to sneak into the lower decks.

The brunette grimaced and set to work. The things he did for a mission.

—

Arthur whistled a jolly tune as he observed the commotion on the deck of The Revenge. His lips stretched into a grin as he adjusted his captain’s hat and watched the sailors prepare the ship for battle. She was set to sail tomorrow morning so everyone was carrying cargo, barrels of gunpowder and variety of artillery rounds.

The blond unhooked the monocular from his belt and stretched it open. He brought it to his eye as he admired the sales of the many ships docked at the port. There was nothing interesting that way, only soldiers coming out of taverns and the town buildings. He moved the monocular to look at the sea when something caught his eye and stopped him mid turn.

What had grabbed his attention was a perfectly fine ass. Someone was furiously scrubbing the deck, their behind up in the air for all to see. And what a glorious sight it was. Arthur licked his lips and adjusted the scope to zoom in and get a closer look. In all of his travels, never had the blond seen such a perfect bottom. He had never thought that the pants currently in fashion could emphasize someone’s ass so well but he stood corrected. The blond’s body unconsciously leaned forward as the ass swayed back and forth with the person’s scrubbing. He swallowed, throat suddenly dry.

It seemed that there were new horizons that just had to be conquered.

“Oi, you!” Arthur called out, the thought of stopping himself not even crossing his mind. Everyone on the deck stopped and turned towards him. He suppressed a smirk when a mop of brown locks rose and the nimble body twisted to look at him over his shoulder. Arthur almost shuddered at the thought of how the brunette would feel writhing in pleasure against him. It was a perfect package, he mused, as he stared into clear green eyes. “You, scrubbing the deck.” He nodded at the brunette and the rest of the sailors continued on with their work.

Arthur mourned the loss of the view of that beautiful ass when the other got up and turned to face him.

“What is your name?” The blond noted absently that the man gritted his teeth slightly and his pretty green eyes flashed in irritation.

“…Anthony Fox.” The brunette managed to get out before he snapped himself out of whatever was bothering him and nodded respectfully. “Captain?” Arthur sensed the question and nodded, a grin forming on his lips.

“Captain Arthur Kirkland.” The blond introduced himself. “I’m substituting until Vice Admiral Drake is found.” He tilted his hat at the other. “Now that introductions are out of the way, why don’t you leave the deck to Edward over there?” The blond motioned towards a sailor on the other side of the ship who was also furiously cleaning the wood. “You seem like a young man of many qualities. I’d hate to see talent go to waste.”

Arthur grinned when he saw the brunette stare at him, unsure of what Arthur meant. He winked at him as his grin widened. “I’d much rather have you polish the wood in my personal quarters.”

Antonio stared at the handsome captain, mouth agape. The blond couldn’t be implying what he thought he was implying, right? It must mean something different in this time period. The brunette saw the emerald eyes watching him expectantly and settled for a neutral reply. “Thank you for noticing me, Captain, and entrusting the care of your quarters to me.”

“I have one sword in particular that needs special handling.” The blond smirked at him and a shiver of excitement went down Antonio’s spine. Enemies shouldn’t be allowed to be this handsome. The blond was completely different from the sailors surrounding them. Pale skin and glinting emerald eyes. Antonio realized that the blond had meant what he said in exactly the way he was interpreting it. The devious smirk made it crystal clear.

“You flatter me, sir. I have a special talent for handling swords. You could say I’m quite good with my hands…” Antonio smirked back deciding that there was at least one satisfying thing he could get out of this hellish mission.

“I trust you’re quite skilled.” The blond remarked, eyes trailing over the other from head to toe.

“I’m looking forward to making use of those skills.” Antonio returned the look. He took in the toned body and his fingers twitched, eager to slide under the captain’s clothes. He wanted to check if the skin beneath was indeed as milky and soft as it looked from the open shirt. “I’m eager to please you, Captain.” His voice sounded deeper even to his own ears as the images of having the blond played in his mind.

Captain Kirkland leaned forward and whispered. “I’m sure you’ll be very pleasing.” The blond’s breath tickled his ear and made his body shudder. A hand sneaked around his shoulders as the other began to lead him somewhere. “Let me show you the sword in question.”

Antonio was about to follow the man happily when the deck was invaded by soldiers. Their metal armour clanked as they shuffled around the wooden floor. Swords and spears glittered in the sunlight. The crew paused their activity and turned to stare at the group of men. One of the soldiers stepped forward. He took out a scroll, the royal seal visible on the bottom.

“By the will of Her Majesty, The Queen of England”. The man paused. “Any newcomer to the crew is to come with us.” The silence that followed was deafening. The man continued undeterred. “As you are aware, Vice Admiral Drake is missing. He needs to be found immediately.” He slowly trailed his eyes over the men.

Antonio froze when the hand around his shoulders squeezed tighter. The corners of the blond’s mouth curled downwards and his brows drew in a frown. Antonio gulped silently when all eyes were suddenly on them.

The officer, continued with his speech. “All newcomers are to step forward or be pointed out from the crew. You will be taken for interrogation by our Queen’s will. Immediately!”

Edward, who had gotten up from cleaning the deck instantly stepped forward and pointed at Arthur. “Capt’n joined yesterday, sir.”

Another sailor who had been working on the ropes chipped in. “Said he was a replacement for Captain Drake.” More of the crew nodded as murmurs and complaints rose from the men. They wanted their own captain back.

Arthur tensed when the officer’s eyes focused on him. Damn, he hadn’t planned on being discovered so soon. He had just been here for some fun, mess things up a little and leave. Oh well. Emerald eyes looked at the brunette who was giving him a curious look. Arthur removed his hand from the other’s shoulders. He didn’t want to be separated from the man. Plus, why take the fall alone when he could have the man’s pretty company?

“Hmm. Admiral Howard has not mentioned you. Who are you?” The officer questioned.

Arthur stepped forward. “My name is Captain Arthur Kirkland. I was sent here by the administrator. I am to replace Vice Admiral Drake until he is discovered.” There had to be an administrator, right? Arthur was not above putting the blame on the guy if it meant he succeeded in his own plans. “I am here to do my duty, for England and the Queen.” He added in an attempt to sweeten the soldier up.

“The Admiral was not informed of the change.” The officer repeated. “As it is now, you are here unauthorized and will be taken in for questioning.”

“Is this the gratitude I get for trying to defend my kingdom?” Arthur mused.

“You may personally take any complaints to her Majesty when she interrogates you.” The officer answered. “Seize him!” Two soldiers grabbed him by the arms. The blond tugged away from the grip and grinned.

“I can follow quietly, officer.” He slapped the hands trying to restrain him. “However, don’t you think it’s unjust? To take only me when I’m not the only newcomer on board.”

Antonio tensed when the blond shot him a mischievous look. Damn that fucker. The captain was going to tell on him. He gritted his teeth as he resisted the urge to strangle the man. He was messing with Antonio’s mission! How was Antonio supposed to find Drake when he was imprisoned?

“Mr. Fox here just joined this morning.” The blond stated as he nodded in Antonio’s direction. Antonio glared at him as two soldiers grabbed his arms and dragged him closer to Arthur.

“Take away both of them!”

The officer shouted and they were dragged to Plymouth dungeon and promptly shoved inside a cell. They were left there to patiently await the Queen’s arrival and interrogation.

“So Captain, huh?” Antonio muttered sarcastically. “Some captain you are, taken in by our own troops.” Antonio glared at the smug blond who sat at the opposite bench of the small cell.

He received a shrug in response. “It’s what I get for trying to help.” He muttered more to himself than to Antonio. Not that the brunette could blame him for that. The man had volunteered to help in the battle against the Spanish Empire and instead got imprisoned by his own people.

“Is that what you were trying to do? Why’d you tell on me then?” Antonio grumbled. “How could I have anything to do with Drake’s disappearance when I wasn’t even here when he went missing?”

Arthur gave him a long look which despite his irritation, still made Antonio’s blood rush. “Don’t you think it would be dreadfully boring to be alone in this prison cell?” The blond returned with a question.

“And you think I’m going to entertain you?” Antonio questioned in disbelief. This man was completely unbelievable.

“Yes, very much so. Just being in close quarters with you makes this all the more exciting.”

“Excitement I could’ve gone without.”

“I couldn’t help it.” The blond confirmed as he got up from his bench and approached Antonio. “It’s delightful to spend time alone with you in a small confined space.”

“Oh yeah?” The question slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Kirkland grinned down at him. “Yes. You’ve yet to demonstrate your sword-handling skills after all.”

Antonio’s lips curled in a grin, unable to stop himself. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Damn it, he was flirting right back.

“I definitely would.” The blond leaned down and Antonio’s breath caught, heart hammering wildly at his ribcage. His lips parted in anticipation. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t mind being close to the blond either.

A cough snapped them to reality and Arthur pulled back. It allowed Antonio to suck in a deep breath and try to calm his racing heart. Two sets of green eyes turned to the source of the noise. Antonio’s breath hitched as he identified the person standing before them.

There, in front of the bars of their tiny cell stood Elizabeth The First, Queen of England, in all of her glory. He couldn’t miss the rich dress, the fiery red hair and sharp blue eyes. Her paintings didn’t do her justice. He should kneel, he realized. He was posing as an English citizen and it was expected of him. Damn this mission again! He was about to drop down on his knees and curse everything to hell when the queen spoke.

“One of my most valuable Captains is missing and I find you two on his ship.” She stated as her blue eyes shot them a calculating look. “One of you is posing as a captain while the other one pretends to be a part of the crew.” He blue eyes sharpened in a glare. “I want to have you hanged immediately, but seeing as you have valuable information, I will give you one chance to save your lives.”

Antonio jumped to his feet. “Your Majesty! I arrived today and was assigned to The Revenge! I had no idea this man was not the rightful Captain! I have nothing to do with this!” He pointed at Arthur while the blond watched them silently. Why was he quiet now? Antonio knew the blond had quite a mouth on him, so why was he keeping it shut?

“You want me to believe that by coincidence, you were assigned to The Revenge, the day after Captain Drake’s disappearance? That is, after all the positions on the ship have been filled.”

“I was told that there are two free spots!” He exclaimed, outraged. That old man! It was all his fault.

“Why exactly did you choose The Revenge?” Elizabeth questioned.

“I thought it would be a great honour to sail under Captain Drake.” He told her, annoyance seeping from his words. “I had no idea I would be accused of his kidnapping, which I have nothing to do with!”

“What about your accomplice then?” Blue eyes shifted to look at the silent blond.

“Who? Me? I was also sent on The Revenge by the administrator.” Arthur told her innocently while Antonio resisted the urge to face-palm. He could see the way the Queen’s jaw tightened and her fists clenched.

“Hang them!” She shouted at the guard watching them from the door.

“No! I didn’t do anything!” Was she really going to hang him? He was fucking sent here to help them find the cursed Drake.

“Tomorrow morning.” Elizabeth shot them a cold look and swept out of the room.

“Ungrateful english bitch!” The brunette spat. Fucking British bastards all of them. His fists clenched as he tried to contain his anger. He was going to be hanged because they suspected him of harming Drake. The person he had to find in order to fix time.

“What was that?” The blond approached him.

“Nothing.” Antonio silently cursed himself for slipping although it didn’t matter anymore. She was going to execute them anyway.

“Well, she is a bitch. Certainly not worth dying for.” Arthur remarked, strangely calm for a person who had just been sentenced to death.

Antonio looked up. Had an Englishman really said that? From what he knew they respected their queen more than anything. Elizabeth The First was especially highly regarded. To hear this from an English Captain was ironic. Antonio could feel his anger dissipating as amusement took over. “What happened to fighting against the Armada for The Queen? Doesn’t that include the risk of dying?”

“It does, doesn’t it?” The blond responded thoughtfully. Antonio could see mischievousness return to the emerald eyes, making them glint in the dim light coming from their tiny barred window. “So are we getting out of here or what?”

“Of course. And I know just the way to do it.”

“Oh? Breaking out of prisons often, then?”

Antonio shot the blond an innocent look. “Maybe?”

The captain grinned at Antonio. “I knew you are a man of many talents.”

It was a few hours before the opportunity to proceed with their plan presented itself. It was dark outside and the guard had just left so someone else could take over the night shift.

“Are you done yet?” Arthur asked as he watched Anthony kneel before their cell door. He was keeping watch for the guard while the other tried to break the lock. They didn’t have much time.

“Don’t distract me! This is not easy you know.” The brunette snapped at him as he continued with his attempt to unlock the door. Anthony had procured the bobby pin from somewhere on his person. The fact that he kept it with him at all times really told Arthur how often the man was in trouble. “I almost have it.”

A loud click echoed in the cell and Arthur hurried to push open the now unlocked door. He stepped forward and motioned for the brunette to stay in his place. “Shh…” Someone was coming. The next moment the bars opened and the guard that was supposed to take over entered.

Not wasting any time Arthur jumped the man and rammed his knee in his stomach with enough force to knock him out. The guard crumbled to the floor and after the blond checked him to make sure he was unconscious, he turned to the brunette.

“What?” He asked.

Anthony shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s go.”

The prison was strangely devoid of people. Arthur wondered if they were really that idiotic. They sneaked past another guard unnoticed. They had two prisoners on a death row, but the number of guards they’d encountered so far was very low. It was a small town so it was understandable that they had little experience with detaining criminals, but it was still a bit strange. He wasn’t complaining, since that made their escape so much easier, but Arthur had expected at least an extra squad from the Queen’s army.

They quietly moved past another door ran out in the yard. They laid low in the flower bed, while they waited for the night patrol to pass the prison gate. Once the guard had his back to them, they silently made their way out of the gates of the small enforcement base.

The blond heard his partner let out a relieved breath once they hit the dark streets. “Where are you going now?” He asked the brunette.

The other paused as he thought about it. Arthur was planning to go back to the ship, but he didn’t want to separate from the other just yet. Surely someone would come for their heads when they find they had escaped.

“I need to go back to The Revenge.” Anthony stated. “Maybe if we find where Drake is, they’re going to pardon us?”

“Yes, I am going back to the ship as well. I left something there that I need to retrieve.”

Antonio paused and eyed the blond suspiciously. “Are you sure you have nothing to do with this?”

“As if I would help the Spanish Empire!” Antonio gritted his teeth at the outrage in the other’s tone. “The Queen might be a bitch, but I am an honest Englishman! I wouldn’t sabotage my country.”

Antonio raised his arm in an attempt to pacify the captain. He hadn’t really expected to hear the other protest so loudly against his suspicions. “Alright, alright.”

They cut off their conversation as they neared the harbour. They sneaked past the guards, watching the cargo and went in deeper in the port. Once near The Revenge Antonio watched as Arthur silently knocked out another guard and laid his passed out form on the deck behind nearby barrels. They were lucky that most sailors were drunk in the taverns, rather than spending the night on the ship.

The brunette followed Arthur on the ship. They looked around for more guards, but the deck was empty. They went straight to the Captain’s cabin. The blond opened the door and beckoned Anthony inside. Green eyes darted around the room before stopping on the closet. Good. It was quiet.

He heard the other shuffle behind him while he looked around for a candle. The moonlight filtering through the small window was not enough.

“So what did you leave here?” The brunette asked and Arthur turned around to face him. The other man was trying to read a document on the dim light. He seemed determined to find the missing Captain and clear their names. Arthur did not much care about finding Drake. He was more interested in the handsome brunette.

The blond felt the urge to taste the man. The way Anthony looked in the dim light made Arthur step closer. He stopped directly behind the other and pressed their bodies together. He felt the frame against him shudder.

“My sword, which you still need to polish.” Arthur felt the shiver that went through Anthony. His lips twitched in satisfaction at the sign that the other wanted him just as much as Arthur wanted the brunette. And he wanted him, badly.

Anthony laughed as he turned around to face him. The blond decided that he liked that laugh. He was sure he would be thrilled to discover how the brunette sounded when he was on the brink of pleasure. He needed to find out. His eyes focused on Anthony’s lips when they parted for a reply.

“You don’t give up, do you?” He asked with a grin. Arthur smirked as he looked into the other’s eyes. His hands landed on the desk, trapping the brunette as he replied.

“No, I always take what I want.” He whispered. He felt the way Anthony sucked in a sharp breath. The other’s lips parted and Arthur couldn’t stop himself anymore. He was about to claim that sinful mouth when a noise echoed in the room.

Fucking hell! This was the second time they had been interrupted. He inwardly groaned in frustration when the brunette titled his head to the side, trying to hear better. “Was that…was that a snore?” He asked in disbelief. Arthur let himself be pushed away. Frustration mixed with his need at the pit of his stomach. Damn it! This was all going to hell in a handbasket. He wanted to kiss that pretty mouth! He wanted Anthony to stay out of his plans.

“No, it’s not.” The blond tried to distract the other. He groaned when Anthony completely ignored him and moved closer to the dark mahogany closet. 

“It’s coming from here.” Arthur sighed and his brows curled in a frown. Emerald eyes watched the brunette as he tugged the door of the closet. “It’s locked.” Anthony informed him. The other looked around for the key and for a moment Arthur hoped that he would not find it. The hope was quickly squashed by disappointment when the brunette picked up the key from the floor.

The blond cursed himself. He should have been more careful with this, even if he had intended this visit to be more about fun and games. It had simply been a coincidence that things had aligned so well with his goals.

“What the hell?” He heard Anthony gasp. He knew what the other found inside. There, laid Sir Francis Drake, bound and gagged, snoring without a care in the world. “What the actual hell?!” The blond’s irritation lessened when Anthony shook the man harshly. “I was almost hanged because of you! And for what? To find you sleeping in your closet!” His lips stretched into a smirk despite himself.

He approached them, and his smirk became sadistic when Arthur met Drake’s frightened eyes. He almost chuckled when the other began to twist against the ropes around him. “Mph!” Arthur stepped back when Anthony’s back stiffened. He could almost hear the gears in the other’s head turning. It was painfully obvious that Drake recognized Arthur and was deathly afraid of him. Anthony jumped to his feet and spun around to face him.

The way the other’s face twisted in surprise lightened his mood considerably. There would be other chances to find what he was looking for and meeting the brunette had been worth it. He took in the other’s shocked face, enjoying the way the pretty green eyes widened and those lips parted. It made the brunette look even more desirable.

Arthur chuckled unable to stop the grin stretching his lips. He opened the door of the wardrobe he was leaning on and stepped inside.

“¡¿Qué?!” The brunette’s face was priceless. It took Arthur a moment to realize that in his surprise the man had switched to Spanish. Maybe he wasn’t the only one pretending to be someone else? “¡¿QUÉ?!” Arthur moved a bit to the side so that Anthony could have a clear view of the insides of the closet. “¡¿QUÉ?!” His grin widened when the other recognized the computers and the advanced technology.

“See you around, darling.” The blond waved and shut the door behind him.

“Wait, you little-!” Antonio was interrupted by the closet flickering and disappearing before his eyes. Antonio stood there gaping, staring at the spot the blond had occupied mere moments ago. What the fuck was that?

“Mph! Mmmph!” Antonio signed and turned around to Drake.

“Okay, okay. I’m getting you out of there.”

—

“I found Francis Drake, drunk and sleeping in his own closet.” Antonio reported. He was sitting on the chair in the Ministerio. Undersecretary Martí was looking at him from above his glasses. He continued without a flinch. Irene and Ernesto were discussing something quietly next to the window. “How no one managed to find him will forever remain a mystery. He didn’t remember much. El Draque, spend two days, unconscious in his own captain’s cabin. I don’t even know why you bothered sending me there. It was a waste of time.”

He wouldn’t mention anything about the blond. He knew that withholding information regarding another time traveller was extremely dangerous, but Antonio wanted to gather more intel on the blond before he reported him. He could obviously travel in time, but how? He had never heard of a door that could disappear like that. If what he had seen had even been a door.

There was too much that he didn’t know. The only thing Antonio was sure about was that the blond had nothing to do with Lola Mendieta. He seemed British.

No, he would keep quiet until he learned more about Arthur Kirkland.

“I see.” Señor Martí rubbed his chin contemplatively, before Antonio received another piercing look. “Are you sure that this is all that happened?”

Antonio groaned. “Si, I’m positive.”

“Thank you, Antonio. You are free to go.”

Antonio nodded and left the office.

—


	2. Whisked away in time and space

“She bit me!” Gilbert shouted on top of his lungs. He was pressing his hurt hand to his chest.

“Did she bite off a finger?” Antonio asked quickening his pace. The whole street had turned to look at them.

“It’s not funny!” His friend and partner growled and the brunette couldn’t help, but laugh. “Next time you get to entertain the crazy old hag!”

“The crazy old hag was a Doña with some very valuable information.” Antonio pointed out. If it hadn’t been for her they wouldn’t have been able to close the case. They should send her a basket full of fruits, not curse her. She had saved them days of work all in exchange of Gilbert’s charming company.

“I had to ride a horse. A horse! In the _Westin Palace_!” His friend squeaked.  

“You were a real Prince Charming.” Antonio laughed even harder and Gilbert jumped him with a roar. The brunette ducked and ran towards the door. From the pink cow to the drugged muffins that mission had slowly descended into chaos. “Hey!” He shouted when something hit him. He turned around and saw a shoe rolling away from him. “¡Hijo de-!” The other shoe hit him square in the forehead.

“Let’s see you laugh now!” Gilbert gloated as he came closer and Antonio did just that. Gilbert sighed deeply in exhaustion. “I’m so tired. I need a bed. Let’s just go.”

Antonio would have agreed with that if his attention hadn’t been caught by a flash of gold. His gaze met a familiar green one and he was momentarily distracted from whatever he had been arguing with Gilbert about. His eyes unconsciously followed down a long neck, an open white shirt and black pants that hung to long legs. Arthur smirked at him and nodded to the side before disappearing in that direction.

“You go ahead. I forgot my…” Antonio said slowly. “…phone. I’ll go get it and catch up with you, alright?”

“Are you sure? I can come with you.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be right there.”

Antonio watched as Gilbert put his shoes on and disappeared behind a corner. His friend couldn’t argue with that one. Not only they couldn’t leave anything that belonged in the future behind, but Antonio needed his phone. Something that definitely didn’t exist in the fifties. He turned around and followed Arthur in the direction in which the blond had gone to. He hated having to lie to Gilbert, but he needed to know more about that man before saying anything. He had never seen that kind of technology and it definitely wouldn’t do for it to fall in the wrong hands.

He stopped when he passed the iron gates of El Parque de Retiro. Arthur couldn’t have gone very far, but Antonio would never find him in here. The park was too big for him to search. That’s when he spotted a sharp green gaze. The blond was leaning against a public toilet cubicle. Antonio stepped closer, eyes narrowing. Who would put that cubicle on the Paseo de las Estatuas? Arthur’s smirk widened as he slipped inside, leaving the door open.

Antonio stood there in awkward hesitation. Was he supposed to follow? He slowly took a few steps forward. Wasn’t that a bit on the private side? Should he wait?

A sliver of golden light illuminated the ground and that was definitely not supposed to be coming from inside a public toilet in the 50’s. Antonio knocked slowly, but only the wind responded. He did it again, this time louder.

“Well, come on in then!” A voice shouted from inside and it sounded too far away for this to be normal. Considering it wasn’t his most normal day Antonio pulled the door open. He blinked at the impossibleness of what stared back at him. Antonio closed the door. He took a deep breath. The muffins. It must be the muffins.

He opened the door once again. The image remained the same and it was too vivid to be a persistent hallucination. What he saw was a staircase that led up towards a platform on which stood Arthur. The blond’s green eyes gleamed in the dimly lit room. They reflected the yellow light coming from behind him. A glass cylinder glimmered with golden flashes that illuminated rows of switches and buttons. A console of a sort on which the blond was leaning. Antonio stepped inside slowly and his eyes followed the round walls that turned into a dome. Rotating gears hung from it. The brunette came even closer to take a better look. Each tooth was decorated with circles and lines that went round and round the cylinder full of light.

“I’m rather proud with how it turned out.” Arthur spoke up, gesturing around the room. Green lights lined the walls and what looked like more platforms beneath Antonio. How was that even possible? He had just entered a public toilet, hadn’t he? He wasn’t even sure of that anymore.

Antonio retreated quickly. He almost tripped on a stone that rolled down the Paseo de las Estatuas. It was just a public toilet. But the door that remained open looked like a portal to another dimension. It shone with green light and that man’s arrogant smirk. Antonio ignored him. It had to be a trick. He went around the public toilet, but it looked like just that. A cubicle that had no business between the statues of past Kings and Queens.

Antonio stormed inside. What technology was this? Arthur hadn’t moved from his spot.

“What do you think?” The blond nudged and Antonio didn’t even know where to start from. Was the man working for an enemy organization that they didn’t know about? Was he working for a future version of the Ministry? No, that didn’t seem right. They didn’t have the money for that kind of technology. It had to be way into the future if that was the case. But then again what had happened to the doors?

“It’s bigger on the inside.” Antonio volunteered.  

“That it is.” Arthur nodded.

“Why is it bigger on the inside?”

“The inside is in a different dimension than the outside. Time Lord technology.”

“What technology?” Antonio stared in confusion. The man slowly came down the stairs and towards him. The brunette refused to step back when the other stepped too close. He did flinch when the door behind him was shut closed.  

“Time Lord.” Arthur repeated, that infuriating smirk never leaving his face.

“Is that a company?” The brunette asked. The man laughed out loud at that. Antonio frowned. Was the name supposed to mean anything to him?

Arthur reached for his hand and Antonio pulled back. His instincts kicking in before his brain could say a word.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” The blond said and offered his hand for Antonio to take. “If anything my intentions are quite the opposite.”  

That made Antonio take the hand. He knew of the other’s intentions for him. He had shared them not that long ago. But knowing that the man was not just a regular captain from the English fleet had put a damper on his desires. Arthur pressed his hand to his chest and the steady beat of the man’s heart drummed underneath Antonio’s palm.

“What do you feel?” The blond asked and Antonio had to wonder if this day could get any weirder.

“You have a strong heart?” He tried. What was he supposed to say? Another laugh met his response.

“Hearts. Plural.” Arthur said, letting go of his hand. “I have strong hearts.” Maybe the man had a condition, but Antonio didn’t understand how that had anything to do with what was going on. The blond sighed at his confusion. “I am a Time Lord. I come from the planet Gallifrey and this is my TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space, TARDIS.”

Antonio opened his mouth and closed it. His brain tried to process the information, but all he could to was laugh. “Are you telling me you are an alien?” He asked in disbelief. He had seen some strange things since he was recruited in the Ministry, but an actual alien? That would take the cake.

“I am.” The blond answered.

“And you conveniently look human?”

“You are the one that conveniently looks Gallifreyan.”

Antonio shook his head at that. As ludicrous as it sounded he had to consider it. He was standing in the very evidence itself. His heart skipped a beat at the sudden realization. He was standing in an alien ship. Flashes of the Alien passed in front of his eyes and he swallowed. He looked Arthur up and down and the blond didn’t seem like he would sprout fangs any time soon. But then again, that toilet didn’t look like it contained an alien ship inside it, so he couldn’t really trust his eyes.

“Time and Relative…?”

“…Dimension in Space. You can call her TARDIS. She doesn’t mind.” Arthur finished. “It simply means that she travels in Time and Space. That’s how I met you.”

“Why does it look like a public toilet?”

“You ask an awful lot of questions, do you know that?” The blond grinned and prattled on. “When we land somewhere she scans her environment and it takes her just a few nanoseconds to decide what the best disguise is. Then she transforms in it and blends with the environment. It lets us travel unnoticed.”

“She thinks that a public toilet next to the statue of Carlos the First is the most normal thing?” Antonio asked in disbelief. Never mind the fact that the alien ship could think.

“She’s been acting a little wacky lately. I will need to have a look at her.” Arthur agreed, his hand sliding over the railing of the staircase in what looked like an actual caress. Then he looked straight at Antonio and uneasiness crawled through the brunette’s veins. The man’s eyes looked eerie on the green light. The knowledge that Arthur was an alien didn’t help. “I want to know all about you, Anthony. How do you travel?”

Antonio’s brain kicked in high gear at that one question. He couldn’t tell about the Ministry or the doors. “I’m not at liberty to discuss the subject.” He said, hoping that would be enough, but the man’s smirk was back at that.

“So you work for the government? I hope you’re not as boring as other agents I’ve had the misfortune to deal with it.”

“How…?” Antonio started, but was interrupted.

“No one else uses such pompous languages. And you are far too pleasing to the eye to be military.” Arthur stepped closer and this time Antonio considered backing up. “So how do you travel through time? Don’t tell me you are actually 390 years old. That would be an extraordinary record for a human.”

“I just look exceptionally good for my age. I’m flattered you would think I can cheat time.” Antonio said, trying to think of a way out.

“Time Lord, it means that I can sense the flow of time, among other things.” Arthur informed. “You, my dear, are out of your time.”

“So are you. That means I should handcuff you and take you in for questioning.” Antonio shot. If he could just distract the other for long enough he might be able to leave with his secrets intact.

“You can handcuff me at any time.” The blond said without missing a beat and it warmed up Antonio’s blood.

He almost jumped out of his skin as his phone vibrated hard in his pocket. He fumbled for the thing only to see Gilbert’s name written on the screen.

“I need to take this.” Antonio gestured and quickly pulled the door open. He picked up the call, making the cheery melody stop. Gilbert’s voice came through the line.

“I’ll see you around, darling.” Was the last thing he heard before slamming the door shut.

* * *

“The problem…” Antonio said with a sweeping gesture, the beer in his cup spilling on the dirty floor. “…is that no one cares.”

“True. True.” Gilbert nodded quickly. The small inn was bursting with noise and drunken laughter. “ _’I’m so happy you are sharing your worries with me. I’ll definitely pass your feedback on.’_ bullshit.”

“We need more people!” Antonio slammed his cup on the worn out table. He was no longer bothered by the dried out food next to his arm. “How are we supposed to find Cervantes? Do they even know who Cervantes is?”

“To Cervantes!” Gilbert shouted and a few voices cheered, but were quickly drowned in the noise. “The prince of Wits and a fucking pain in the ass!”

“How are we going to ever find him?” Antonio groaned.

“Not at his house. Not at his friends’, not in the nearby pubs. That’s the fourth pub we check. The beer here is even worse.”

“One more?”

“Yeah. We deserve it.”

Antonio got on his feet and bumped into a smaller body. Liquid drenched his clothes and glued them to his skin. He blinked in disbelief. His eyes met a pair of shocked brown ones. That was the last thing he saw. Pain exploded in his temple and he fainted.

* * *

Antonio was woken up by a loud laughter. He groaned and clenched the side of his head where pain throbbed persistently. The light of a nearby torch flickered around the small cell he was lying in. Another dirty prison in another small corner of the former Empire. The brunette wasn’t even surprised anymore. He slowly dragged himself to where Gilbert was laughing with another prisoner.

“Check this.” His friend was saying. “That Cervantes guy, most badass author of all times. He wrote the first modern novel, he fought in the army, he was kidnapped by pirates, held for ransom for five years, imprisoned by his own country for… Antonio! Are you alright? Man, that guy punched you so hard.”

“What guy? Stop shouting. Please.”

“Some guy just appeared out of nowhere and turned your lights off. Of course, I had to defend my partner. It was a real massacre.” Gilbert laughed, patting him hard on the back. Antonio grumbled.  

“You’re welcome.” His friend nodded eagerly before turning back to his newfound companion. “As I was saying the man is a legend and we can’t find him anywhere. We turned Seville upside down. Either history is wrong…”

“Once again.” The brunette added.

“…or we went through the wrong door.”

At that the two agents’ eyes snapped wide.

“We went through the wrong door!” They shouted in the same voice.

Gilbert grabbed the other prisoner by the hand and shook him hard. “What is the date?”

“1597.” The man responded.

“We’re a year late.” Antonio hissed at Gilbert.

“At least now we know why we couldn’t find him anywhere. He is already imprisoned.”

“Probably in this very same prison.”

“We need to get out of here.”

Antonio quickly got on his feet. The world gave a threatening whirl, but he ignored it. Pain seemed to be very good at countering alcohol. Each throb cleared his head and made him crave another glass. He kneeled in front of the cell door and took out a bobby pin.

“I presume it is very important for you to find this… Señor Cervantes.”

“Very important.” Gilbert agreed. “He is so important that modern Spanish is often called the language of Cervantes.”

“What business do you have with a man like that?”

“It’s complicated, but we basically we need to make sure he writes that book. The world will be a poorer place without it.” Antonio responded. The lock clicked open just as a soldier stepped in front of the cell door.

“Trying to escape?” The man asked conversationally.

Both Antonio and Gilbert took a step back.  

“We would never dream of it.” The brunette answered quickly.

“It’s your lucky day. If it wasn’t for this, you would have been the main entertainment on the market tomorrow.” The solder showed them a small envelope. He opened the now unlocked door. “You have some important friends.”

The two agents looked at each other questioningly. They had no friends in this time period or any other. That was one of the trickier parts of their missions. They were supposed to remain unnoticed in order to change history as little as possible and only in the way that was needed. Was it possible that the ministry was trying to help them? They were in for a lecture when they went back home.

“Go on then.” The soldier gestured towards the exit.

Antonio exchanged one last look with Gilbert before they stepped forward. The guard didn’t stop them when they exited the dirty cell.

“Uh – uh, not you, Miguel. You are staying with us.” The two agents turned around to stare at the prisoner. With his overgrown beard and dirty hair, he looked nothing like the respectful man from the portraits. His skin was covered in a thick layer of dirt that did nothing to make him even more recognizable.

“You see the gentlemen and I have had the opportunity to become close friends in the amount of time we shared. I am sure that any friend of theirs is my friend. If you could kindly…”

“Enough talking.” The soldier snapped and closed the door loudly. The key scraped in the hole, locking the man away.

Cervantes sighed deeply and looked at them solemnly. “I won’t forget what you said, even if you sound like you’ve lost your marbles. Thank you.”

“We…”

“Are you leaving or staying?” The guard interrupted.

“Leaving.” Gilbert exclaimed.

They were pushed towards a flight of stairs and through the main premises of the building.

“Here.” The soldier pushed the letter he’d been holding in Antonio’s hand. “Next time I see you I shoot you.”

With that the prison door was shut closed in their faces.

“Now what?” Gilbert frowned.

“We call the ministry for an update?” Antonio suggested. That was their best bet. It was the only way to know if they had succeeded after all or if they needed to repeat their mission and go through the right door. He silently cursed the doors that never remained constant. Their map must have been out of date. There was no other explanation for them to be off by an entire year.

“Yeah, give me a moment.” Gilbert pulled out his phone dialled the familiar number.

Antonio looked at the letter that was shoved in his hand. Had the Ministry helped them? He opened the envelop and took out a piece of paper. His eyes scanned the short message.

_“For Anthony:_

_Meet me behind the prison,_

_The Captain”_

Antonio cringed at the name. How did he know where to find him? The brunette took a deep breath. He had to deal with this. He tapped Gilbert on the shoulder.

“Nature’s calling. Be right back.” His friend nodded in response and Antonio slipped behind the prison where he saw another outdoor toilet. Arthur was leaning against the door and looking up at the stars. Green eyes turned to look at Antonio and a smirk shone his way.

“I knew you couldn’t wait to see me.” The blond said, all cocky confidence that Antonio forced himself to ignore.

“What do you want?” He asked. How had the man found him? What kind of technology did he possess?

“Some gratitude would be nice. I did help you after all.” Arthur said and quickly crossed the few steps that separated them.  Instinct made Antonio step to the side and evade whatever the other had planned.

“I would be more grateful if I knew how you found me.” He shot back and took a step back when the alien came closer.

“I was around when I sensed someone messing with time, so I decided to investigate. Finding you is really not that hard. I hope you don’t have a lot of enemies.”

At that Antonio’s blood went cold. He quickly sized the man standing in front of him. For the first time he had to ask himself whether he could win a fight against him. Arthur was skinnier, but did that matter when he wasn’t even human?

“Are you my enemy?” He asked and slowly started backing off. He needed to get to Gilbert.

“Do you think I’m your enemy?” Arthur asked, his voice dripping with amusement. “You can think of me more along the lines of an interested party.”

“Interested how?” Antonio almost squeaked when his back hit the front door of the TARDIS.

“Interested in every way.” The blond responded and Antonio found himself trapped between an alien and his ship. He felt a lot less scared than he was supposed to be.

“What if I’m not interested?” His breath came out in a rush and he shuddered when he felt Arthur press up against him. His body didn’t seem to care what the other was or how dangerous that might turn out to be.

“What if I don’t believe you?”

“Then you’re not listening.” Antonio found the hole that currently served as a handle and pulled the door open behind him. He failed at extracting himself on time and they both swung backwards and onto the TARDIS’s floor.

Arthur smirked when he landed on top of him and the brunette swallowed. He leaned in closer to Antonio and his heart sped up. One hard push and their positions were reversed.  He was not falling for this alien’s charms. He had seen enough movies to know what happens to hapless men that were seduced by gorgeous extra-terrestrial beings. It did not end well for them.

“Darling, could you please lock the doors for me?”

Antonio’s blood went cold when he heard the sound of a door locking. He jumped on his feet and grabbed the handle, pulling tight. It didn’t even bulge. He pulled harder.

“There’s no need for you to waste your strength, Anthony. Not even an ordus has managed to get through those doors. And let me tell you, an ordus can smash your head to pieces simply by breathing on you. Their bodies would burst with strength at a certain age. That’s how strong they are. Not a pretty creature.”

Antonio turned around. Arthur was already on the console, turning knobs and typing furiously into a computer.

“What are you going to do to me?”

The smirk that stretched those thin lips did not make him feel better at all. The glowing green eyes made his skin crawl with uneasiness.

“Nothing you won’t enjoy.”

Arthur pulled down a lever and the ground shifted beneath them.

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur’s TARDIS - The Chameleon Circuit works perfectly fine so his TARDIS does disguise itself with the surroundings of the landing time period or place. Also the Doctor’s TARDIS makes the “wheezing, groaning” sound because he doesn’t turn the hand breaks off on take-off and landing, while Arthur pilots his TARDIS properly, so it is soundless. XD


End file.
